You Know You're Getting Older When...

...you sit down to put socks on.

...stretching gives you muscle cramps.

...everyone calls you ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am', but it doesn't bother you anymore.

...people often ask if you’re okay for no reason you can discern.

...trimming excess hair from facial features is a twice-weekly event.

...activities that were once just chores you now consider exercise.

...your eyes’ ability to focus worsens faster than your ability to replace your eyewear.

...the only way you can cross your legs when sitting is at the ankles.

...you rarely hear from friends, if you’ve any left.

...you grouch about the way older people drive, then realize you’re one of them.

...you’ve lived through many historical periods, but no longer recall what they were.

...you refuse to take advantage of seniors' discounts; but you think about it.

...just as one bodily ache seems to go away, two more take its place.

...the term 'leaky plumbing' has taken on a whole new meaning.

...things you used to enjoy eating have become foods to avoid.

...you used to have great balance and agility, but now you watch how you exit the shower.

...abstract concepts you once understood are back to being abstract.

...most of the injuries you endured while younger have resurfaced in one form or another.

...the only reason you have a higher pain tolerance than ever before is because nowadays you’re always in some kind of pain.

...you used to avoid popping medication except in dire need, but now you have a daily, multi-pill regimen.

...no matter how hard you try, your gut will not 'suck in' anymore.

...you may now have cleavage as a man, while women may wish they didn’t.

...you might feel young at heart, but your body stopped listening a while back.

...a jog up a flight of stairs requires several minutes of recovery time. So does a jog down.

...you can't recall when half of what ails you began, or why.

...you went from hale middle-ager to half-witted senior seemingly overnight.

...it takes almost as much effort to get into bed as it does to get out.

...you can wear a jacket outside even when the temperature is +20C.

...forms at the health clinic that used to take two minutes to fill out now take fifteen.

...even teenagers hold doors open for you.

...you no longer need an alarm to wake up.

...your idea of a good evening is a drink and an hours' worth of screen time; if you can stay awake that long.

...you bruise as easily as a week-old apple.

...you begrudge yourself for aging, like it's somehow your fault.

...there's not an 'early bird' on the planet who can beat you to a worm.

...your clothes have gone from fitting right to being too tight to being too loose.

...your water bill has dropped significantly, mostly because you only bathe once a week; maybe.

...Christmas movies make you cry, as do some tv commercials.

...your selfies bear little resemblance to the face you think you see in the mirror.

...much of the daily news seems like old news.

...you sometimes wish there was CCTV for the brain.

...you wistfully hope you'll one day use the sports gear you still own.

...your vim and vigour have become fretfulness and frailty.

...you can find the only bathroom in a labyrinth.

...you're hanging on to any old vices, but they're becoming chronic complaints.

...being organized is a matter of necessity as opposed to convenience.

...no matter how often you think you've written something down somewhere to remember it, you still manage to forget it half of the time.

...you wish you had another thirty years to save for your retirement.

...you may have missed the sixties, but now you're meeting them head-on.

...you realize the reason older people tell so many stories from the past is because nothing much new is happening in their present.

...scrambling up mountainsides and downhill skiing have been replaced by gardening and meditation.

...you have enough 'stuff' to furnish two households, but are too attached to most of it to reduce.

...you've become so efficient at some tasks after years of performing them you wonder how you could ever have complained about them when younger.

...you're still planning exercise regimens you'll never begin.

...you forgot what you were reading halfway through this list.