(not quite) all about sex

Someone once asked filmmaker Woody Allen if he thought sex was dirty. His famous reply, "Only if it's done right," still begs the question. Some sex quite obviously is dirty, but that doesn’t make it inherently bad. Rather, ‘dirty’ is a term used to describe sex that titillates us, regardless of its nature (excluding acts illegal or morally reprehensible to society; generally, they’re one and the same). We all have different comfort levels when it comes to the nature of the sex we enjoy, and only an individual can determine how ‘dirty’ sex is for them.

 

Does that mean sex has to be something taboo to be considered dirty? Does it, as some suggest, interfere with growth of the soul? Should sex be relegated to the status of a procreative force only, or can we enjoy a greater awareness of self through it?

The answer to those queries is as simple as knowing ourselves. Through self-awareness we learn what is right and true for us as individuals. We discover we are not subject to the dictates of others, regardless of their stature in the larger community. God does not ask us to stop living, but to engage fully in life's processes. Does that mean we should all have a lot more sex? Well...

There’s a time in many peoples’ lives when sex is pretty much all they think about. I’m no different. What that fixation did, however, was preclude me from discovering my true self. Instead, it left me a slave to physical responses that didn't reflect the me I wanted to become. I just didn't know it at the time. Sex was rewarding, but not in all the ways it could have been.

While I don't believe for a minute that sex is bad, preoccupation with it is unhealthy. Like any toxin we might introduce into our lives, an addiction to sex leaves us in a state of want as opposed to fulfilment. Sex for sex sake is a dead-end road, but sex with love can be an intensely spiritual and wonderfully bonding experience. Sometimes, sex is the only time people talk to God! I think that's a good thing.

Is sex dirty? As long as it's not forced or obsessively sought after, who cares? Every person has their own secret (or maybe not so secret) proclivities, and more power to them. Sex can be magical, extremely loving, cathartic and mind-expanding. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to find the right partner to experience this with, but once you do you're not likely going to want to stop. I think it's okay to enjoy it, so long as we don't become so centered on its pleasure that we lose sight of its potential to lift us up in myriad ways. So what are you waiting for? Go expand your mind.